Brink
by StopTheWorldImGettingDizzy
Summary: Post 1x7. VioletCooper. He's ready to be a man.


A/N: I literally got into the Private Practice fandom less than a week ago. It's all been very whirlwind and exciting! This fic is based on speculation for 1x8, inspired by an image from the promo. Feedback is really appreciated. Thanks!

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Violet tugged the hat more firmly over her hair, ducked her head, and all but sprinted out of the elevator and towards her office. She kept her eyes cast on the floor in front of her and concentrated on being unnoticeable. She began to count her steps: _one two three four-_

Out of the corner of her eye she sensed movement, a red blur and a _sorry, Dell_, and oh god, oh god-

_-five six, almost there, seven-_

"Violet!"

_-eight…._ She slowed reluctantly. Cornered. Ten feet from her office, and he'd caught her. Oh, shit.

"Violet, please turn around."

She didn't. She wasn't going to look at him.

"Vi, please," he entreated softly. She didn't move. The paintwork on the second R in Turner was slightly chipped. She studied it.

A few moments passed. Just as Violet thought she was safe, his hands lighted gently on her upper arms. Cooper had touched her like this countless times before; this time, for the first time, the heat from his hands seemed to shoot straight through her flesh and directly to her stomach, or her heart.

She inhaled sharply.

"Violet, you don't have to look at me, but listen to me, please. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have agreed to your request, I should've known I wouldn't be able to-" he took a breath. "But I told myself I'd be okay. I was wrong. I just… couldn't. I'm sorry."

Violet closed her eyes and exhaled. She wished Cooper would let go of her arms.

"Violet?" The hands were lifted, _finally_, she thought, but then Cooper was moving around her, moving to stand in front of her, to face her, to get her to look at him-

"I need coffee." She turned away and headed for the kitchen. Cooper trailed along behind her.

She fiddled with the coffee pot and the filters and opened and closed the microwave for no particular reason and she did not look at him, but she knew he was there. She always knew when he was there. Call it her Coopersense.

"You know," she started, still focused on the coffee-making process, "I just don't get it, Cooper. I don't get it. You agreed, and I thought we were on the same page, you know, I thought you were with me on this. And fine if you thought it would be weird for our friendship, fine if you had said, 'Violet, you're crazy,' but you didn't, you agreed. And then I'm standing there naked in front of you, and that's when you decide you can't handle it? Forgive me, Coop, if I'm not overly pleased with you right now." Dammit. She swore she wouldn't call him Coop.

Neither spoke for a few seconds. Violet couldn't take the silence; she decided she wasn't done. "I mean, what was it, am I not good enough for you?"

"You know that's not it." Cooper sounded defeated, tired… and earnest, there was that note of earnestness. It was familiar, _You're… beautiful_, oh Christ, stop talking, Cooper.

Cooper did not stop talking. "You're the most… _amazing_ woman I've ever met."

Violet stopped moving and bit her lip. "Cooper, don't do this."

She felt him come up behind her, and then his hands were on her arms again, and he pulled her gently away from the counter and turned her around. She crossed her arms and looked at the ground.

"Violet, look at me."

She obeyed, and struggled to keep her expression defiant.

"Cooper, I never would've asked in the first place if I thought- if you were going to, if we- I- Cooper- okay, you've _got_ to stop rubbing my arms like that!"

He let go. Violet breathed a sigh of relief that turned into a strangled half-cough when, instead of returning his hands to his sides where they belonged, he brought them up to cup her face.

"Cooper? What are you doing?"

His thumbs were stroking her temples, and his fingers were curving around the back of her head, tangling in her curls. And he was _looking_ at her in a way that scared her, because it was familiar, it was the way he looked at her all the time, but she was seeing it differently, and it wasn't safe, not in any way whatsoever. It was the antithesis of safe. And the worst part was that it _was _familiar, and how had she not realized before? How had she always thought the way he looked at her was _normal _for Just Friends? And he kept on looking, and it was making her panic. It was also making her ache a little bit in places she probably shouldn't be aching. And his hands were still caressing her head.

This was so not fair.

"Cooper." Shit, she had meant that to come out reproachful, but the exclamation point had faded out somehow, leaving her with a hoarse whisper.

Was his face closer to her? She was pretty sure his face was closer than it had been a few seconds ago. Her eyes didn't seem to be focusing properly.

"Your laughter."

"What?"

"Your freak-outs."

"Cooper, what are you talking about?"

"The way you get frustrated when you butter your toast and the butter's too hard to spread. The way your hair puffs out more when you let it dry naturally. Your _smile_."

She was really, truly trying to look away, but he was holding her head steady and she still couldn't move her eyes.

"The way you focus on your patients. The way you care. The way you get every last bit of strawberry in your mouth before you throw away the stem. Your sarcasm. Your eyes."

She opened her mouth. "I don't…"

"That was my top ten."

She pressed her lips together and brushed her hand across her eyes impatiently. She felt dizzy.

"That's why I couldn't do it, Violet. You asked me for casual sex, and that's the one thing I couldn't give you."

Screw him for being so tender with her, screw him for looking at her like she was made of gold, or crystal, maybe; she'd never felt so breakable before.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

She opened her mouth to protest, then closed it again quickly as his lips pressed against hers. _Cooper_.

He pulled back after only a few moments, and Violet was left blinking, disoriented, while Cooper looked at her. "How was that?" he asked.

"I…" Violet's brain was still focused on processing _I'm going to kiss you now_.

"Let's try again." Cooper leaned in.

"Wait!" Violet yanked her head out of his grasp. A sharp pain shot through her scalp at the movement, and she gritted her teeth and rubbed her neck with her fingers. Cooper looked concerned and reached a hand out. "No! Cooper. No touching. I can't focus on the talking and the touching at the same time, so you're going to have to keep your hands to yourself."

Cooper put up his hands and took a step backward.

"Great. Thank you. Cooper…" Violet looked at him searchingly. "We're friends, right? We're _friends_."

"Of course we're friends. Thick as thieves, when you're down and troubled, the whole deal. That's fact one. Fact two, I'm in love with you."

"Oh my god." She covered her face with her hand.

"I've tried to tell you; Violet, I even made a pact with a ten-year-old! But you were always thinking about- I mean, it just wasn't ever the right time. But then you asked me to come over and I knew it was just sex, but I thought it would be enough. And then, obviously, that did not go so well. And now here we are. And I'm sorry if this freaks you out, but there it is. I am in love with you."

"I… can't, I…"

"Let me tell you why I'm a good choice for you."

"Why you're-"

"I'm smart. I'm kind. I'm a great kisser. I cook. I am always there for you, whenever you need me. I laugh at your jokes and you laugh at mine. I know how to tell you when you're wrong. I think you're beautiful. I will never, ever get tired of you. I think you're crazy, and that only makes me love you more. I don't want perfection- I want you. And, for the record, I'm scared shitless right now, but I'm putting myself on the line because I love you. And that's what you do."

Violet was still wide-eyed, but she didn't seem as ready to spring for the door. Cooper, this was Cooper telling her he loved her, telling her all the things she loved most about him, things she had never quite seen but had always known. Except for-

"Violet, say something."

"You're a great kisser?" _Shit. Dammit, Violet._

"I- yes, I am."

Violet ran her tongue nervously over her bottom lip. "Show me."

"What?"

"Show me, Coop."

For an instant, she thought he was frozen; then his hands were back on her arms and she found herself pulled against him, and their eyes met for the briefest second before he was kissing her, desperately, lovingly. She opened her mouth without thinking about it and wrapped her arms around his back, letting her full weight rest against him as her legs weakened. She could hear her blood pounding in her ears; this assured her that her heart had not, in fact, stopped beating. She had never come close to drowning before, but she thought wildly at the back of her mind that this was probably what it was like.

Cooper stopped kissing her and pulled away gently. Violet was left with her mouth gaping and her body swaying, and she opened her eyes and reached back to steady herself against the counter. She inhaled deeply through her nose, blinking rapidly.

"Violet? Are you okay?"

She shook her head a little, rapidly.

"Violet, speak to me."

"You are not a great kisser." Cooper looked uncomfortable. "You are a fucking _amazing_ kisser."

Cooper grinned widely, then thought better of it and looked down. "Does this mean you're willing to give me a try?"

Violet didn't say anything. Suddenly anxious, Cooper looked up.

She was staring at him. He could tell from the expression on her face that her mind was racing. He waited.

Violet let out a long breath. "Okay."

"Wait… okay? Okay what?"

Violet started to smile in spite of herself. "Okay."

"Okay?"

She nodded.

"Okay. Wow. Wow, okay, that's- that's great! Um. Violet? Would you… like to have dinner? Tonight- with me?"

She swallowed. "Yes."

"Wow. I mean! I'll, uh, pick you up at six?"

Violet nodded again, and Cooper nodded back at her. He turned around and left the room quickly without another word, but as he walked past the glass window, Violet spotted him grinning from ear to ear. She turned away and reached for the coffee pot. Now was a time for caffeine.

As she reached for a mug in the cabinet, Violet caught sight of her reflection in the glass. She was grinning, too.


End file.
